We are now officially 2 weeks into the New Year! Welcome to 2015, doesn’t it feel great? Let me ask a dreaded question…
how are those New Year’s resolutions coming along?
….annnd I’m being met with the sound of crickets.
It’s so easy to make a list of what you want to accomplish in the New Year, but what you really need to focus on is how to EXECUTE your goals while being realistic. As a dating expert, I’m obviously going to use a dating resolution example. A lot of our clients that join It’s Just Lunch at the beginning of the year of a specific set of goals in mind – they are looking to get married, want a companion, want to start a family, are looking to meet new people – there are a million and one reasons why people are interested in dating. No matter what your goal is, you need to keep these things in mind when you resolve to take a more proactive approach in your dating life this year – It’s Just Lunch client or not – remember:
Dating is a process – you are going to have bad dates (sorry, it’s the truth) and you are going to have AMAZING dates! It’s easy to highlight the negative, but you have to celebrate the little victories, too. Both will happen, you just need to remember that meeting the right person takes time. Which leads me to #2….
Dating is all about timing – some people meet the love of their life at age 6 – others at age 36. There is no rhyme or reason for this, it’s just the nature of love. You’ll find love when you least expect it, ready or not…it’ll come.
Be realistic – go ahead, make that list of deal-breakers. BUT, don’t chisel this list into stone. Priorities are constantly changing and evolving and so is your taste. If you told me 4 years ago that I’d end up with a guy who was blonde and 5’8” I would have laughed in your face! On paper, my partner is nowhere near my type, but there are so many other incredible things about him that I absolutely love that petty little details like height and hair color become totally irrelevant. My point? Don’t write people off because they don’t fit into your box perfectly it could be the best decision of your life.
Don’t get caught up in a timeline or your ‘biological clock’ – if you set a goal to meet someone, get married, and have your first child 2 years from now...that’s a crazy amount of pressure! Not only for yourself, but for your future partner. I don’t know about you, but if I went on a date and one of the first things out of their mouth was “I’d like to be married with a child in 24 months” I would probably run for the hills.
Overall, my advice is simple: take the pressure off yourself and stop making super intensely specific goals. Instead, resolve to focus on strengthening relationships and spending more time trying new things – put yourself in new situations so you can meet new people. Don’t restrict yourself to “Have a boyfriend by April 14th” because if you don’t….you’ll beat yourself up and more than likely, give up. Cut yourself a break and keep the bigger picture in mind.
Resolve to date, meet new people, try new things, accept invitations, travel, spend less time buried in your phone (you ARE missing out on what’s around you – and amazing people are passing you by), and be proactive in your dating life! You WILL meet someone amazing, you just need to take the first step. Good things will follow.
2015…The New Year! As the holidays come to an end and the New Year begins, so many people around us are talking about their New Year’s resolutions. Most often, goals include bettering oneself in ways, such as exercising more, eating healthier, traveling more and for some…finding love! Statistically, December is the month with the most breakups, which means more singles on the market. January can be a great time to get back into the dating scene. Getting back into this dating scene can seem intimidating and overwhelming. In order to take the stress out of dating and meeting new people, try taking it slow by making small resolutions. It’s Just Lunch has eight resolutions that will put you on the right path to meeting that special someone!
Resolution One: Smile, make eye contact and be aware. Step out of your comfort zone. Don’t let the fear of rejection or the stress of a busy day keep you from engaging with the people around you. This resolution will make you more approachable and decrease the fear of rejection. It could be as simple as striking up a conversation with someone while waiting in line for coffee.
Resolution Two: Join at least one new club or pick up a new hobby. It will expose you to other likeminded people and allow for interaction that you wouldn’t have in your typical environment. Changing up your daily routine will increase the chances of meeting new people.
Resolution Three: Give each date a fair chance. It can be easy to write someone off before the first date is even over. First dates make people nervous! If there isn’t an immediate connection, it might just be first date jitters.
Resolution Four: Strive for positivity. If you are happy in your daily life, whether it’s your job, relationships with your friends and family, etc. it will lead to positivity in your dating life.
Resolution Five: Do something for yourself! Is there something you’ve been meaning to do, but keep putting off? Get a gym membership, have a spa day, buy a new dress, etc. Do something for yourself that will make you feel good. Confidence is key in dating.
Resolution Six: Leave the past in the past. Don’t allow hurt or angry feelings from past dates or relationships keep you from finding the love you deserve in the New Year! Letting go of these feeling will open you up and make you a stronger, happier person!
Resolution Seven: Simply say yes. By saying yes to party invitations, happy hours, dates, and any other social opportunities, it will open you up for the potential of meeting new singles.
Resolution Eight: Most importantly, don’t give up on love! New Year’s resolutions can seem new and exciting in January; however, they often fade as spring approaches. Finding love, requires not giving up!
By striving to achieve a handful of these New Year’s resolutions you will be taking active steps towards opening yourself up to meeting new people and the opportunity of falling in love. Take things slow! Just because your resolution for 2015 might be to date more, it doesn’t mean you need to find love by the end of January! Stick to these small resolutions and you might be surprised where you end up by the end of the year!