By: Brigitte Jaeger
2015…The New Year! As the holidays come to an end and the New Year begins, so many people around us are talking about their New Year’s resolutions. Most often, goals include bettering oneself in ways, such as exercising more, eating healthier, traveling more and for some…finding love! Statistically, December is the month with the most breakups, which means more singles on the market. January can be a great time to get back into the dating scene. Getting back into this dating scene can seem intimidating and overwhelming. In order to take the stress out of dating and meeting new people, try taking it slow by making small resolutions. It’s Just Lunch has eight resolutions that will put you on the right path to meeting that special someone!
Resolution One: Smile, make eye contact and be aware. Step out of your comfort zone. Don’t let the fear of rejection or the stress of a busy day keep you from engaging with the people around you. This resolution will make you more approachable and decrease the fear of rejection. It could be as simple as striking up a conversation with someone while waiting in line for coffee.
Resolution Two: Join at least one new club or pick up a new hobby. It will expose you to other likeminded people and allow for interaction that you wouldn’t have in your typical environment. Changing up your daily routine will increase the chances of meeting new people.
Resolution Three: Give each date a fair chance. It can be easy to write someone off before the first date is even over. First dates make people nervous! If there isn’t an immediate connection, it might just be first date jitters.
Resolution Four: Strive for positivity. If you are happy in your daily life, whether it’s your job, relationships with your friends and family, etc. it will lead to positivity in your dating life.
Resolution Five: Do something for yourself! Is there something you’ve been meaning to do, but keep putting off? Get a gym membership, have a spa day, buy a new dress, etc. Do something for yourself that will make you feel good. Confidence is key in dating.
Resolution Six: Leave the past in the past. Don’t allow hurt or angry feelings from past dates or relationships keep you from finding the love you deserve in the New Year! Letting go of these feeling will open you up and make you a stronger, happier person!
Resolution Seven: Simply say yes. By saying yes to party invitations, happy hours, dates, and any other social opportunities, it will open you up for the potential of meeting new singles.
Resolution Eight: Most importantly, don’t give up on love! New Year’s resolutions can seem new and exciting in January; however, they often fade as spring approaches. Finding love, requires not giving up!
By striving to achieve a handful of these New Year’s resolutions you will be taking active steps towards opening yourself up to meeting new people and the opportunity of falling in love. Take things slow! Just because your resolution for 2015 might be to date more, it doesn’t mean you need to find love by the end of January! Stick to these small resolutions and you might be surprised where you end up by the end of the year!
Looking for some fun and unconvential date ideas this winter? Our matchmakers sat down and came up with this week's list!
--Plan a white-elephant gift exchange and host a holiday party together!
--Turn your home into a winter wonderland. Decorate with snowflakes and frost in the windows.
--Have a hot chocolate taste-test! Head to the store and get a ton of ingredients and mix up some new concoctions! Taste them all together and rate each one to come up with your favorite combinations.
--Give back to your community and spend the night volunteering together at a local food shelf or kitchen.
--Hit the slopes! Head to the hill for a day of skiing, tubing, or try something new like snowshoeing or snowboarding.
--Almost every city have a winter carnival, festival, or village – spend the day totally immersed in the holiday spirit ofyour city!
--Try ice fishing. Find someone with an ice house (or rent one!) to stay toasty warm.
Check back weekly for new date ideas! Have a favorite date night activity? Share it with us in the comments or on Facebook!
Written By: Ellen Donaghy
As comfortable as you might be with your single status the rest of the year, being single during the holidays isn’t easy for anyone. It’s a time for family and friends, to celebrate being with those you love. But if you’re the only one of your loved ones who’s not in love, the holidays can be a minefield of reminders that you haven’t found “the one” yet. You can only see so many couples walking hand in mittened hand down the streets, be the fifth wheel at only so many cocktail parties, and pretend you don’t see only so many people kissing under the mistletoe before holiday loneliness starts to sneak up on you.
You feel like everyone is reminding you that you’re alone for the holidays. At Thanksgiving, your nephew will tell you all about how this one boy in his kindergarten class got to be a ring bearer in his aunt’s wedding and demand to know when you’re getting married so he can be your ring bearer. When you show up alone to the office holiday party, your boss will give you a sympathetic head tilt and say, “No plus one for you this year?” At your closest friend’s holiday party, you’ll find yourself under the mistletoe and look around to see only his wife’s bad-tempered cat—and even she hisses and runs away when you make eye contact.
So when an old flame calls out of the blue and ask to get together for a holiday drink “for old times’ sake,” the temptation to try to rekindle that spark can be pretty strong. You might think about last holiday season, when you were snuggling in front of the fireplace, laughing and tossing handfuls of snow at one another as you walked through the park and swapping candy cane flavored kisses. Before you add monogrammed towels to your holiday wishlist, take these things into consideration.
Why are you exes?
There are all sorts of reasons couples don’t go the distance, but why did your relationship end? Was it a matter of the wrong time and place, something that could be overcome by the time you spent apart? Or was it a more fundamental disagreement? If you went your separate ways because one of you wanted to get married and/or have children and the other didn’t, or because one of you liked living in your condo in the city while the other wanted a house in the suburbs, reuniting with your ex could just mean dredging up disagreements even more stale than last year’s fruitcake.
What was the relationship like?
It can be easy to remember the fun, the romance and the best of times when you’re dreading going solo to a slew of holiday parties, but stop for a moment and think about whether or not you’re remembering your relationship accurately. Even the best relationships have rocky periods, but a relationship that was on the rocks more often than a good scotch is drama you don’t need. If your life has been happier, clearer and more peaceful since you’ve been solo, you might just want to turn down your ex’s glass of holiday cheer.
How much have you changed?
Breakups are times of growth and change for you both as you let your heart heal, so you need to ask yourself how much you’ve changed since the relationship ended and how much you still have in common with your ex—and with the person you were when you were together. You may find that things have changed so much that you can’t even remember why you wanted the other person in your life in the first place. Or it could be that whatever caused the relationship to fail during the first go around hasn’t changed at all and you might just be regifting yourself a second heartbreak.
It can be easy for alone for the holidays to turn into lonely at the holidays, but reconciling with an old love might not make for the happy new year you envision for the two of you. Under the right circumstances, giving an ex a second chance can lead to lasting love. But if your instincts tell you the relationship will end again before the confetti has been cleaned up on January first, it might be best to resolve to meet someone new.
By: Cassi Rosso
Dating isn’t what it used to be. Instead of a guy asking permission to date a man’s daughter or courting like dating had been years ago; the new way to meet people is at the touch of our smartphones – through technology. Is this a good or a bad thing? In my opinion, it’s not very personal and the relationship is going to lack a certain level of chemistry. Although everyone grows with the times I think that dating should stay old-school, meaning: dating is all about an in-person connection rather than seeing a person’s pictures online or having an entire relationship through text messaging (yes, this unfortunately happens all the time). You can’t predict chemistry – even if you feel like you know each other really well from your conversations online or over the phone – things can change in an instant when you meet in person.
How much of our daily lives are spent on our computers, phones, or having stimulating conversation via technology in a given day? Fifty years ago – even 15 years ago – things were much different. When it comes to dating, I always suggest taking the ‘old school’ approach and actually MEET. IN PERSON. Crazy idea, right!?
As much as the times have changed, there is still an in-person chemistry that must be present – whether it be emotional or physical – the connection is needed for a successful relationship blossom. Technology will only get you so far, and nobody likes to be disappointed. I suggest you don’t waste so much time online – I’ve heard so many stories of singles investing weeks, months, hundreds of emails and phone calls on a potential relationship only to find out when they finally meet in person the spark is non-existent. Seriously – what a waste of time! If you are going to use online dating – check to see that the basic of the basic criteria is there with your match, then fast forward and schedule a date. Who cares if it’s essentially a blind date, at least you won’t have invested weeks of your life into something that is going to flop completely. Anyone can sound great on paper, but the in-person chemistry is what actually counts.
Technology is helpful in many ways but as far as making a relationship work through it or beginning one from it is questionable at best. Your time is precious and shouldn’t be wasted on an idea – go out and seek the real thing. Wouldn’t you rather know right away than spend months hoping this is the right path for you? I think yes.
Oh, and on your date – put down your phone.
Date smart! Your time is precious – you shouldn’t be wasting it online sorting through hundreds of profiles every night. You should be out meeting amazing, relationship ready people! Let our matchmakers do the work for you. We specialize in setting our clients up on fun, quality first dates with like-minded people. We take care of all of the details – from selecting your matches and giving you a description of who you are going to meet to the reservation – we’ve got you covered. All you need to do is show up and have fun on your date! The dates are meant to be low-pressure and short. If you have a great time – wonderful! Exchange information and plan another date. Felt like the match lacked chemistry? No problem! You’ll part ways and know at least you gave it a shot without investing a great deal of time into the process. Then, we’ll move forward with another match! How easy, right? It’s Just Lunch, dating for busy professionals: www.IJLMidwest.com